Unveiling and Transforming Chronic Relationship Patterns
Discover the key to breaking free from chronic relationship patterns. Learn how to recognize these patterns, take transformative steps, and establish healthier connections. Embrace personal growth, set boundaries, and seek professional help when needed. Break the cycle and create fulfilling relationships.
We've all heard the saying, "History repeats itself," but do we truly recognize when our own personal history seems to be stuck on a never-ending loop? In relationships, patterns can emerge—some healthy, others not so much. Understanding and addressing these chronic patterns is essential for nurturing fulfilling connections and personal growth.
In this blog post, we delve into the intricate maze of recurring issues that many individuals seeking relationships face. We explore the telltale signs of chronic patterns and provide actionable advice on how to break free from them, paving the way for a brighter future.
Recognizing Chronic Patterns:
Breaking free from these cycles starts with recognizing them:
Self-reflection and awareness: Take the time to reflect on past relationships and your role in those dynamics.
Identifying common themes or behaviors: Look for patterns in your choice of partners, your behavior within relationships, and how conflicts arise and resolve.
Seeking feedback from trusted sources: Sometimes, an outsider's perspective from friends or family can shed light on your relationship patterns.
Steps to Break Chronic Patterns:
With recognition comes the power to effect change. Here are some transformative steps:
Acknowledge patterns and take responsibility: Accepting that you play a part in these patterns is crucial for initiating change.
Seek professional help or therapy: A therapist can offer objective guidance and support.
Set boundaries and communicate effectively: Learning about and establishing healthy boundaries can greatly improve relationship dynamics.
Practice self-care and personal growth: Cultivate a strong sense of self outside of any relationship.
Breaking free from chronic patterns is vital for establishing healthier relationships. By becoming aware of these patterns, you empower yourself to initiate positive change, leading to more satisfying connections with others. While confronting recurring negative themes in relationships may pose challenges, the rewards of meaningful, balanced connections are accomplishments that resonate through every facet of life. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and witness your relationships flourish alongside newfound self-awareness.
If you’re interested in starting therapy, please schedule your free consultation call to see if we would be a good fit to work together!
"Why People Leave Therapy Prematurely: Understanding the Reasons"
Discover the reasons why some individuals leave therapy prematurely in this insightful blog post. From a lack of connection with the therapist to financial constraints and unmet expectations, various factors contribute to therapy discontinuation. By understanding these challenges and fostering open communication and support, we can improve mental health retention rates and enhance the therapeutic experience.
When it comes to mental health and well-being, therapy is an essential avenue for healing and growth. Its positive outcomes can be transformative. However, not everyone completes the journey. Many clients end therapy prematurely. But what are the reasons behind this? From a lack of connection with the therapist to logistical hurdles, there are various causes for the discontinuation of therapy. In this blog post, we will explore these reasons in detail, drawing insights from luminaries such as Dr. Irvin Yalom, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. John Norcross.
Lack of Connection with the Therapist
According to Dr. Irvin Yalom, an emeritus professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, the therapeutic relationship is as important as the treatment method itself. A strong client-therapist bond, known as a therapeutic alliance, is crucial for effective therapy. However, without this bond, clients may feel misunderstood or unsupported, leading them to leave therapy. Strategies to enhance rapport include open communication about the therapeutic process and empathy from the therapist.
Unmet Expectations
Dr. John Norcross, an expert in psychotherapy, emphasizes that expectations significantly influence the therapeutic process. Some clients enter therapy with hopes of quick solutions or miracle cures. When therapy fails to meet these heightened expectations, disappointment can follow, leading to premature termination. Setting realistic, mutual goals and maintaining a practical outlook on the therapy timeline can help align expectations.
Financial Constraints
Therapy can be a financial commitment that some individuals find overwhelming. Economic limitations act as a significant barrier. Dr. Sue Johnson comments that people should have access to the care they need without the fear of financial hardship. Alternative payment options, sliding scale fees, or community resources can provide solutions for individuals facing such constraints.
Stigma and Shame
Dr. Johnson notes that shame is pervasive among those who leave therapy prematurely. Fear of judgment, coupled with the stigma surrounding mental health challenges, can be significant deterrents. Overcoming shame, promoting the normalcy of seeking therapy, and engaging in destigmatization campaigns are crucial steps toward retention.
Discomfort with Vulnerability
Opening up about deeply personal issues is not easy and can deter individuals from continuing therapy. Trust and safety within the therapeutic environment are crucial and can be fostered through empathetic listening, non-judgmental responses, and confidentiality assurances from the therapist.
Lack of Progress
Patients may leave therapy if they feel they are not making visible progress. Dr. Norcross advises that it is critical to regularly review therapeutic goals and make adjustments when necessary. Ongoing dialogue about expectations and consideration of alternative modalities can help if progress stalls.
Inconvenient Logistics
Practical issues such as scheduling conflicts or remote locations can impact a client's ability to continue therapy. The rise of teletherapy offers a flexible alternative that has sustained therapy engagement in today's mobile and digital age.
Therapy dropout is a complex issue that requires comprehensive understanding and empathy from both clients and therapists. By prioritizing open communication, flexibility, and support, we can improve mental health retention rates and ensure that individuals who embark on the therapeutic journey can see it through to healing.
Remember, finding the right fit in therapy is crucial. Therapists encourage clients to express concerns and collaborate in overcoming barriers to successful treatment.
"By keeping these factors in mind, therapists and clients alike can work towards a more effective and fulfilling therapeutic experience."
"I am not in this world to fulfill your expectations, and you are not in this world to fulfill mine," said Dr. Irvin Yalom. This statement holds profound truth within the realm of therapy. It is a personal journey where misconceptions can cloud realities. The more we discuss the complexities of therapy dropout, the closer we come to a collective understanding that safeguards mental health journeys and enhances their outcomes.
If you’re interested in starting therapy, contact me today to schedule a session and begin your journey towards healing.
Does online therapy work?
One of the biggest concerns about online therapy is that therapists don't have an opportunity to observe the patient—something that is usually integral to an assessment and diagnosis. The tone of voice, body language, and overall demeanor provide insight into an individual's well-being.
A major component of effective therapy involves the relationship between the therapist and the patient. As online therapy is impersonal (often, it's completely anonymous), many people have raised concerns about whether digital communication can provide skills, tools, and healing power to individuals staring at a screen.
Despite the concerns, research consistently shows that online treatment can be very effective for many mental health issues. Here are the results of a few studies:
A 2014 study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that online treatment was just as effective as face-to-face treatment for depression.
A 2018 study published in the Journal of Psychological Disorders found that online cognitive behavioral therapy is, "effective, acceptable, and practical health care." The study found the online cognitive behavioral therapy was equally as effective as face-to-face treatment for major depression, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.
A 2014 study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy found that online cognitive behavioral therapy was effective in treating anxiety disorders. Treatment was cost-effective and the positive improvements were sustained at the one-year follow-up.
The Potential Benefits of Online Treatment
Online therapy offers some benefits over traditional face-to-face treatment:
People in rural areas or those with transportation difficulties may have easier access.
Many online therapy sites allow users to sign up with "nicknames" which can entice people who are embarrassed about getting services under their real names.
Most online therapy services cost less than face-to-face treatment.
Scheduling is more convenient for many people.
Studies show online therapy requires 7.8 times less of a therapist's time than face-to-face treatment—meaning therapists can often treat more people online than they can in-person.
Clients don't have to worry about seeing people they know in the waiting room.
It can be easier for some people to reveal private information when they're sharing it online.
Individuals with anxiety, especially social anxiety, are more likely to reach out to an online therapist.
The Potential Drawbacks
Online therapy isn't for everyone. Here are some potential risks and drawbacks:
Online therapy isn't meant for people with certain problems or conditions (such as suicidal intent or psychosis).
Without being able to interact face-to-face, therapists miss out on body language and other cues that can help them arrive at an appropriate diagnosis.
Technological issues can become a barrier. Dropped calls, frozen videos, and trouble accessing chats aren't conducive to treatment.
Some people who advertise themselves as online therapists might not be licensed mental health treatment providers.
Sites that aren't reputable may not keep client information safe.
It can be difficult to form a therapeutic alliance with someone when meetings aren't face-to-face.
It can be difficult for therapists to intervene in the event of a crisis.
How to Find an Online Therapist
If you are interested in online therapy, there are many options to choose from. Think about what type of services you want most—phone therapy, video chats, live chats, audio messaging, or text messaging.
You may find a local therapist who offers online services, or you might find you prefer a large organization that offers a substantial directory of therapists to choose from.
But do your homework and shop around for the service and price plan that best suits your needs.
Find the full article here.
If you're looking for a therapist who provides online sessions, I invite you to contact me to schedule your free phone consultation today! Contact Me Here
My Most Commonly Asked Question: "DO YOU ACCEPT INSURANCE?”
A question I get a TON, is “do you accept insurance?”
I don’t.
You might be thinking “Well that sucks, because I pay for insurance so I want to use it.” I totally get that.
But I also think it’s important that you understand what happens when you use your insurance to cover therapy & relatedly, why I’ve chosen not to accept it directly:
1. The insurance company requires at least one diagnosis.
Not all of my clients qualify for a diagnosis or want a diagnosis to become part of their medical record. Unfortunately, insurance companies still engage in practices that promote stigma. When it comes time to renew your insurance or switch plans, your premiums could rise as a result of that diagnosis, potentially costing you more.
2. Our work together is valuable.
Let me preface this by saying that some therapists that choose to accept insurance are excellent. However, most therapists start accepting insurance to build their practice quickly. The going rate for therapy is typically between $100-$250 per session. Most insurance companies pay therapists between $40-90 per session, and this is often not even paid on time. So why would a therapist take insurance if they are getting paid less and having to jump through hoops? Because they have to in order to maintain a steady flow of referrals. I know the value of my work, my training, and the results clients see when they come to see me. I don’t have issues with client retention, and most of my clients find my rates to be reasonable and on point with the current market.
3. It compromises confidentiality.
When you are a provider who accepts insurance, insurance companies can request your notes at any time to deem whether treatment is “medically necessary.” I find this really invasive to clients who are trusting me with sensitive and personal information.
4. Treatment is out of your control.
When you utilize insurance for therapy, the insurance company typically approves only a certain number of sessions you are allowed. Obviously, the person assigning this number of sessions does not know you personally, or understand your individual needs. Therapy is not predictable and working under a time-limit can add stress to the therapeutic process.
5. My clients are committed.
Clients who are willing to make the investment in therapy are often more committed, and as a result, achieve better results. When you take therapy seriously, you see the investment pay off in every area of your life. There is nothing worth more (literally and figuratively) than personal growth & happiness.
While I choose not to directly accept insurance for the reasons listed above, some insurance companies actually offer decent out-of-network provider benefits. This means that you may be able to receive full or partial reimbursement for our work together, while still allowing for privacy and control. This really depends on your specific insurance plan, so I recommend calling directly to find out about your out-of-network provider benefits.
If paying out of pocket is not an option for you financially, then I want to be clear that using insurance for therapy is better than no therapy at all.
I wish that therapy were more accessible financially and will be doing another post this week about what options there are if cost is a main barrier for you.
If you live in California and are looking for a therapist, I invite you to contact me to schedule your free phone consultation today! Contact Me Here
7 Journals for Creativity, Gratitude, and Better Sex according to Goop
The best journal for you is the one you’ll actually use—whether that’s one that functions more like a traditional planner or one that’s simply pretty to look at.
01 QUICK HIT
In the first pages of The Five-Minute Journal, an inscription insists it’s not a magic pill. Whatever dreams, intentions, and aspirations you write here, it says, you will still have to execute them in real life. But this journal is a guide on how to do precisely that—and it’s a little magic we’re happy to practice for five minutes at a time. Every day (or every day you feel like it, no pressure), you fill in your answers to three simple questions in the morning and two easy reflections at night. Each one encourages intention, gratitude, and perspective. And they all make the idea of living a little better feel totally within reach.
02 BLANK SPACE
When guided journaling exercises aren’t the vibe, a simple notebook is a refreshing blank slate. This one from AllSwell is designed for flexibility. If you open it from the cover that says “WRITE,” you get lined pages for neat and tidy notes, lists, and diary entries. Flip it over to its second cover, “DRAW,” and you’ll open it up to blank pages perfect for doodles.
There are no prompts or practices in the notebook, so if you find yourself seeking some creative inspiration, it’s worth picking up AllSwell’s deck of journaling cards, which cue gratitude lists, letter-writing, and sketches of cherished memories (like a favorite tree from your childhood). Shuffle, pick, and let your pen go at it.
03 SPICED UP
This journal is a resource not just for better sex but also for cultivating intimacy, silliness, and honesty in a partnered relationship. It’s designed to be picked up right after play. The journal guides you through a set of prompts that you respond to individually, filling in statements like “I feel ___,” and “I felt most turned on when ____,” and then questions to answer together: What are we learning? What do we want and need? After every four entries, there’s a page for reflections on how you’ve grown as a couple and what you’ve felt grateful for since the last check-in. It even includes a guide on how to constructively communicate desires with your partner as well as where to begin if filling out the journal ever feels awkward.
04 SIMPLE PLAN
While the basic structure of this little booklet is that of a monthly and weekly planner, working through the pages means getting really clear about what you want and how you want to pursue it. The diary asks you to break down your specific goals into actionable steps and also prompts you to reflect: on what’s behind your intentions, on what support you need, and on how your goals fulfill your core purpose. That may all make it sound very career-focused—and yes, it’s great for that—but it’s also just as invaluable a tool for our relationships, intellectual growth, and spiritual development.
05 ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
The concept of this journal is simple: It’s a place to jot down what you’re grateful for. That’s it. No guides, no prompts, no activities. Just the simple inscription on the cover as a reminder to count your blessings daily. It looks pretty on a nightstand (we like to make entries right before sleep) and is a great gift. And because our planet is one thing we can all be grateful for: This journal is fully recyclable.
06 JOY RIDE
Filling out the prompts in this one-page-a-day journal feels like scribbling in the personal diary you kept as a kid. Every page has a brief, totally joy-inducing activity, like thinking about how your love brings your loved ones happiness or feeling out a memory you could live in forever. Then it asks you to respond in a few short lines with what came up for you. We’ve found that it’s an easy way to lift our hearts in a moment. And even after you’ve filled out every page, this journal’s great for revisiting. Just cover up your previous notes with your fingers to go over your favorite pages again and again.
07 FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you’re on a mission to listen to your body more, this food journal is a great first step. We like it because there are no prescriptions of what or when or how to eat, just space to very simply note how you’re feeling, how you slept, and what you ate and drank throughout the day. And it may help you develop healthier routines: Research shows that self-monitoring without deliberately changing anything is effective in changing our eating habits for the better.
Find the full article here.
If you're looking for a therapist who provides online sessions, I invite you to contact me to schedule your free phone consultation today! Contact Me Here