COVID 19 & Teletherapy
Seeing a therapist used to imply being in the same room with them, but not any longer. Teleconferencing has made it possible to see a mental health professional from a distance.
With recent requirements for social distancing, many therapists and clients have had to either pause their work or make other arrangements, including meeting by video conference.
I've been providing teletherapy services for a few years now. Here are some common questions and issues that come up when thinking about making the transition.
Will My Therapist Agree to Online Sessions?
Some therapists (myself included) are enthusiastic about using teletherapy, some won't use it at all, and a large number of therapists approach it with some reservations. I've been surprised how many therapists are now moving to it with the COVID-19 outbreak and resulting social distancing. Most therapists generally seem to find that it's a very beneficial approach.
Even among therapists I know who were skeptical about online sessions in the past, the majority have opened to the idea. They seem to recognize it as a good option to avoid an untimely break in the therapy relationship, and to provide continuity of care.
Will It Be Weird?
If you're generally comfortable with communicating through a screen (e.g., Skype, FaceTime), you'll probably be comfortable moving to online therapy. If you can't stand this form of communication, you'll likely have a harder time with it. Of the dozens of clients I've treated through teletherapy, most seem to find the transition to be smoother than they expected. Therapy tends to be intense, and quickly enough you're likely to forget about the medium and focus on the work.
That said, expect some differences with teletherapy. It's different when you're not in the same room with someone, and you're experiencing them in two spatial dimensions instead of three. It can also be harder to pick up on body language through a video. And while most of my clients seemed to be comfortable with making the switch, a few were not, or found the transition to be quite challenging. Occasional tech issues come up (like a delay in the audio and video), but typically can be handled with a little patience and humor.
Is It Effective?
Research suggests that therapy by video conference can be very effective, which has also been my clinical experience. It depends on you and your therapist, of course, but in general you should expect it to be helpful if you were finding in-person therapy helpful.
Personally, some of the most powerful clinical experiences I've witnessed have occurred through teletherapy. In my own practice, I've seen it work for people dealing with things like depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, insomnia, relationship issues, grief, and trauma.
Will Insurance Reimburse Me?
A growing number of insurance providers seem to be willing to cover online therapy sessions. They'll probably require the standard things for reimbursement: your identifying information, the provider's license and so forth, a diagnostic code, and a session (CPT) code. Check with your insurance provider before starting your sessions if you'll depend on reimbursement to cover the sessions.
How Does It Work?
You and your therapist will agree on a platform to use (or in some cases may decide to forego video and simply speak by phone). Some rely on Skype or FaceTime, although those options are not HIPAA compliant. More secure platforms include VSee, Zoom, and Doxy, among others. There may be a fee for your therapist to use the technology depending on the service, but it should be free for you (aside from your therapist's session fee, of course).
How Should I Prepare for My Sessions?
Some important and finer points about the logistics of teletherapy:
Do a test of the software beforehand for your own peace of mind and to be sure it will work, and verify that you have your therapist's contact information (e.g., VSee username).
Find a place in your home where you'll have as much privacy as possible. This could be a challenge if kids are out of school or other family members are always home (or work from home).
Along those lines, I recommend ear buds for privacy and also better sound quality. That way your therapist's voice won't feed back into your microphone and out their speakers.
Make sure you're sitting somewhere you'll be comfortable for the length of your session.
Have your screen on a stable surface, since excessive movement can create a feeling of seasickness for your therapist. If they're new to teletherapy and their screen is bouncing around, ask them to do the same.
A finer point: try to have the top of your head near the top of your video screen, rather than in the bottom half of the screen. That way when they're looking at your face they'll be looking more or less into their camera (assuming it's at the top of their computer), so it will feel like they're looking at you.
Be sure to close email and turn off notifications that could be distracting and dilute the experience for you. You'll want to have your full attention focused on your session.
Also close programs that could slow down your computer's processing ability and interfere with the quality of the video.
You may also need to work out payment arrangements with your therapist if you generally pay in person. Some therapists will keep a credit card on file for you; others will ask that you mail a check. Find out what they prefer.
Are There Other Advantages to Online Therapy?
One plus of online therapy you'll notice right away is that there's no travel time involved, so your sessions will probably take up much less of your day. With that in mind, you may want to build in some transition time into and out of therapy, since travel time often provides a buffer before and after your session. It might be challenging, for example, to return directly to childcare after an emotional session. Even a 10-minute break to process and digest the session can make a big difference.
You'll also never have to cancel for weather (assuming you have electricity and Internet), and there are no concerns about whether you could pass along a sickness to your therapist (or vice versa) if you're well enough to meet but possibly contagious. It's also possible to see your therapist when you're traveling, just as I've been able to see clients when I've been on the road.
What If My Therapist Won't Do Online Sessions?
If your current therapist isn't open to doing teletherapy, you might consider speaking with a new therapist who does offer online sessions. Obviously it's not ideal to have to start over with someone new, especially if you've been seeing your therapist for a while. But it may be your only option if you're committed to continuing therapy with as little interruption as possible.
If you don't want to start with a new person, consider other resources during the hiatus from seeing your therapist (and work with them on the plan, if possible). For example, there may be books, brief online courses, or other resources that will help you to continue the work. Your therapist might be open to having brief phone check-ins during this time.
Seek out additional support from loved ones, as well, and be sure to take care of your basic needs like sleep, nutrition, and movement to keep your body and mind healthy. You might find journaling to be helpful during this time, as it's been shown to be an effective way to process thoughts and emotions.
Keep in mind that there could be unexpected benefits to taking a therapy vacation. While it may not be ideal, an unplanned break from therapy can lead to surprising growth, as the work you've done settles in and takes hold.
The Bottom Line
If you're considering teletherapy, talk it over with your therapist and see if it's worth giving a try. You don't have to know in advance if it's the right decision for you—you can always plan to do a limited number of sessions to see how it goes. If it works well, it could be a convenient and time-saving way to continue the important work of therapy.
Find the fill article here.
If you're looking for a therapist who provides online sessions, I invite you to contact me to schedule your free phone consultation today! Contact Me Here
Why You Need To Know Your Partner's Love Language
Knowing a partner’s love language just might save a relationship. The idea behind this psychology is that every individual has a different way that they give and receive love. Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times Bestseller, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, argues that these ways can be divided up into 5 simple categories:
Acts of Service
If your #1 Love Language is “Acts of Service,” you feel most loved and appreciated when your partner thinks about what they can do to ease the responsibilities that are weighing on you. Hearing “let me help you with that” or “I already took care of it” is most exciting to you. Laziness, failure to perform their share of chores, or being unthoughtful with how they can help you are all easy ways for you to feel unappreciated and unloved.
Word of Affirmation
If your #1 Love Language is “Words of Affirmation,” actions do not speak louder than words. Unsolicited compliments make you feel secure and happy in your relationship. Hearing “I love you” on a regular basis is important to you, and helps you to believe you are loved. Hearing the reasons behind why they love you is icing on the happy-relationship cake. Insults are not easily forgotten and not hearing enough words of affirmation will make you feel unloved.
Quality Time
Having your partner’s undivided attention is the time when you feel most appreciated. Distractions during quality time or postponing dates can make you feel like you aren’t important to your partner. Scheduling the time to be together is crucial to the success of your relationship.
Receiving Gifts
If this is your #1 language, don’t question your character. It actually has more to do with the thought behind the gift than the gift itself. You appreciate the thoughtfulness behind gift giving (whether it’s a grand birthday present or bringing home your favorite magazine from a trip to the drugstore). All gifts, whether small and daily or big and grand, remind you how much you matter to your partner and how much thoughtfulness and effort they think you’re worth. Missed birthdays or thoughtless gifts are your relationship nightmare because it makes you feel like your partner doesn’t care about you.
Physical Touch
This isn’t just about intimacy — holding hands, hugging, or pats on the back make you feel loved and cared for. Physical closeness is directly related to emotional closeness for you, and neglect can be destructive to the relationship. A hug can lift your mood or take away your insecurities.
So why is knowing your partner’s love language so crucial to the success of your relationship?
It will help you and your partner feel more appreciated.
If you’re an “Acts of Service” person dating a “Words of Affirmation” person, your partner might shower you with compliments and “I love you”s every day, but you would spend the relationship not feeling truly appreciated because they never offer to run errands or do the dishes. Understanding your partner’s love language will help you discern how they show their love, so that you do feel loved and appreciated, knowing the way in which they give their love is different than yours.
It will allow you to communicate your needs more.
Understanding that they do other things out of love, and that they just have a different love language, will help you to communicate, “it makes me feel appreciated when you clean the kitchen,” or “I feel loved when you hold my hand.”
It will show you and your partner what you both should do without being asked.
Knowing your partner is a “Physical Touch” person will make you more thoughtful about holding their hand in public or hugging them when they’re down, and you will be able to understand the meaning and importance behind these little acts that, for you, would otherwise be insignificant. Your partner will be more conscious about what they can do to show you how much they appreciate and love you. When you and your partner both know how the other gives appreciation and wants to receive appreciation, it makes for more thoughtful decisions and efforts that make you and your partner both feel loved and valued.
If you live in the Los Angeles/Westlake Village area and are interested in therapy, I invite you to contact me via email at: tanyasamuelianmft@yahoo.com . I provide a complimentary consultation. Contact me now to see if we might be a good fit to work together! Or book your appointment now!
Made The Brave Decision To Go To Therapy...Now What?
I’ve made the brave decision to go to therapy…now what?
We’ve all been there - feeling overwhelmed, confused, thinking we could benefit from seeing a therapist. But only some of us make it through the door and get the help we need. Why is that? Looking for a therapist can be a grueling process.
Searching for a therapist can feel extremely impersonal, leading you from profile to profile on the web only to find yourself lost. The whole process can feel like a massive load - that’s why breaking it down into smaller manageable parts can be a great way to maximize your search. Here are a few tips to consider:
Check in with yourself. I always ask my new clients what they’re looking for out of therapy - what are your goals? What do you want to work on? Is there a specific type of therapy you want to try: individuals, couples, family, etc.? Are there certain qualities you want your therapist to have?
Pro Tip: I suggest taking time to imagine the kind of therapist you want to work with. Write down the traits that feel important to you, and traits that are deal breakers. Ideally what you are looking for is finding a therapist that puts you at ease.
Consider your therapy budget: Therapy is expensive. While I believe it is one of the best investments we can make in our self, there are real financial barriers that can make it hard to do so. Depending on the community you live in, therapy can range from $80-$200 per session.
One option is to consider using your insurance for therapy; it is important to first find out what type of reimbursement, if any, your insurance company offers. If it is a requirement to see someone “in network,” ask for a list of providers and begin looking them up online. Some insurance companies will provide reimbursement for therapy that is '‘out of network'‘ and your therapist can provide you with a “superbill” each month to submit to your insurance.
Pro Tip: Look at your overall spending and see where you can make adjustments. Saving could be as simple as bringing lunches to work and making coffee at home. It is a choice, like everything else, and you must weigh the financial commitment you are willing to make.
Ask people you trust for recommendations: Asking people you trust for recommendations is a great place to start. This could be a friend, family member, colleague or other health professional.
Pro Tip: If you have a friend or family member who is a therapist, they would also be a good person to ask as well. Therapists tend to have reputable colleagues who they can refer you too.
Use the web: The Internet is a great resource for reading about and finding local therapists. Psychology Today and Good Therapy have a comprehensive listing of therapists and allows you to search based on several different factors. All therapists listed in those databases must prove that they have an advanced degree and an up-to-date professional license. You can read profiles or click through to individual therapist websites. Yelp is another great way to search for local therapists.
Interview therapists: Once you narrowed down your list of potentials, it’s time to start making calls. I offer all new clients a free 20 minute consultation to see if we might be a good fit to work together. Pay attention to how you feel on the phone. Do you feel comfortable talking with him or her? Do they sound clear and confident while answering your questions? Is their style of communication relatable? If yes, go ahead and book an intake session at the end of your phone call. Feel free to do this with more than one therapist if you like the idea of “shopping around.”
Pro Tip: Have a few questions prepared before calling, such as:
How would you describe your style of therapy?
What do you charge per session?
What insurance plans do you take?
Do you provide a sliding pay scale?
How often will we meet?
How does therapy work?
Found the right person…now what? Your first session with your therapist will cover a lot of material. You will be asked to share what brought you into therapy, parts of your personal and family history, and the current symptoms you are experiencing. Your therapist will ask you personal questions and, depending on your relationship to vulnerability, this may feel challenging. This is normal and to be expected. Your therapist should never rush your process. Your pace and comfort level must be respected.
“A person’s relationship with their therapist frequently mirrors their relationships outside the therapy office. We often unconsciously recreate dynamics from other relationships with our therapist giving us the opportunity to process negative feelings and work through maladaptive patterns in a safe space. A good therapeutic relationship can be a corrective experience: We are accepted for who we are, encouraged to look inward and connect with our true natures, and supported in growing into our real selves.”
If you live in the Westlake Village Area and are interested in individual or couples therapy I invite you to contact me via email at: tanyasamuelianmft@yahoo.com
major credit to The Every Girl for the guideline to this very important post!